day 74 *

summer 2019

This past week I attended my dance studio’s summer intensive, which consists of classes taught by guest teachers brought in from around the country. During their time here they teach us classes and choreograph some of our competition team’s dances for the upcoming season. This year I’m not going to be on the competition team because I’m going off to college and, well, I’m too old for it now. I still took all the classes from the guest teachers though because there is so much to learn from them and each of their lovely unique styles.

In each class we are taught a combination, and usually I hate doing combos because picking up choreography quickly is something I’ve always struggled with. During this intensive though, I tried to let go of my mental blocks that always prohibit me from tapping into my full potential, and just DANCE.

I pushed away all my obsessive negative thoughts that I always tell myself, from, “Look, she did that better than you, you suck” to “You’re so bad at picking up choreography there’s no way you can do this” to “You’re so terrible you should stop dancing altogether” and I just focused.

I focused on the combo, I focused on myself, and I didn’t focus on obsessing over how “bad” I am. I put all my energy into those classes. I’m especially proud of the mental energy I put into them. It opened doors for me and I’m starting to have more hope in myself, not just in dance but in other aspects of life as well. Dance is empowering, if you have the right attitude and aren’t always tearing yourself down, which is something I’ve had to relearn over and over and over again this year.

I’m still growing.

It turns out I was the only one truly holding myself back. *

-HOLZ

* Not Them.

day 27 feelin’ like heaven

summer 2019

woooo hoooo annnd im back with another blog post coming at you live from fort lauderdale florida. today was the “beginning to the end” so to speak. Today was the first day of my last ever nationals dance competition. #graduatedsenior 😎

i am so happy with the performances i gave on both of my solos today and could really care less about the letters on the medals i received (names of different score placements). i just did the best i could and i am so proud of myself for that.

^^ this whole mindset here really ties into my day 16 post, in which i went off about how life is:

[In life] No one is going to give you compliments all the time. It’s up to YOU to develop your OWN guidelines by which to judge yourself … YOU have to give yourself YOUR OWN praise, based on whether you have met the criteria you established for yourself, because no one will praise you. PRAISE YOURSELF when you deserve it …

— Me 11 days ago

with that being said….

YAY ME!!!!!!

Also I think I may have messed up my days numbering somewhere when i missed some days……

ehhh

-holz !

*(dO excuse me for quoting myself in this post kind madame/sir, i simply am quite in love with the above block of text that I wrote 11 days ago)

**EDIT: i completely DID mess up the days so i went back and fixed it. i only messed up yesterday, which was actually day 26, not 24, as I had originally stated. so, THAT MEANS that today is day 27 of my blog posts. whew. glad i fixed that.