✧゚・: * day 69

i had a great trip to the keys!!

i haven’t posted on here in a while, but i have been keeping track of the highlight of each day since the start of our key west trip so i’m gonna share those here!!

~~~

july 30 – swimming and laughing in the hotel pool with my friend Asia

july 31 – getting açai bowls @ tropical vibes in key west, and working out in the hotel fitness center with Asia & my dad

august 1st – scootering around key west with Asia, & my mom and dad

august 2nd – walking the mile loop around our hotel before we left for the 9 hour drive home

august 3rd – making açai bowls at home and cleaning our cars with my dad

august 4th – having fun at Asia’s going away party

~~~

↯ SOME PICS ↯

i’m back now (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

-holz *:・゚✧

day43 (2befree)

I remember the very first time I left my dog, then young puppy, for more than a few hours when my family and I went on a summer vacation in 2012.

I missed him on the trip so much that my heart physically hurt, and I cried while we were on vacation, obsessing over how much I missed him. On the plane ride home, I even edited a very dramatic video slideshow with photos of him on my iPad 2. I missed out on the trip I was blessed to be taken on by fixating on the thing, (or in this case, animal), I missed about home, even though we were only gone for about 1 week.

I can rationally anticipate some challenging times in my transition to college life, but I can pretty much guarantee you I won’t be making video slideshows demonstrating how much I’ll miss home.

Instead of dwelling on the things I’ll miss about home like I did on that vacation in 2012, I will strive to live in/enjoy the present. I have so many things to be excited about at college, like a huge campus to explore, new friendships, and academic challenges I am ready to face.

I feel a lot more excited about college now that I’ve attended orientation. It seems significantly less scary and strikingly more exciting 😀

& I hope that my excitement continues to grow and offset the sad things about moving on from this era of my life, like how much I’ll miss home, my precious dog, and every wonderful thing I’ve ever known in the small town in which I have lived in my whole life thus far.

i am ready

2bfree

.

~this post is dedicated to my dog dusty🐶💕~

thankyouforreadingg ✨

-holz

day 40

i’m on my way to college orientation!!

it’s so weird that i’m actually gonna be starting college soon and everything will be different. it’s not just an idea or an obscure future plan anymore, it’s actually happening.

i have also learned some interesting facts in the past week,

did you know that:

-Koalas are actually marsupials, not bears.

-The past participle of “shear” is “shorn.” (ex/ “see sheep being shorn”)

-Stranger Things 3 is REALLLLY GOOOD

?

#facts

i hope u smile today ☺️

-holz

day 30

(ah)

i feel so much pressure for these blog posts to be “good.” it’s scary to do something genuine and honest because it hurts more if you receive criticism for it. sometimes it can be easier to do things that are less ‘real’ and less important to you. i have decided that i am going to stick to my original intentions for creating this website, which was to make a little place for me to just write/create whatever the heck i want.

~

so

today, i went to the beach,

and i went swimming in my clothes,

and i played with the younger girls, laughed with the older girls, danced with all the girls on stage.

~

tomorrow is my absolute last time dancing with my team.

it will never be the same again. oof.

that’s a lot to swallow.

~

i’m getting my hair cut on saturday.

</–holz3->

day 28

GASP – Hold it …

grey …..

you didn’t pick me.

flash of RED – Let it out.

(⁎˃ᆺ˂)

breathe breather breathest !!!!

!! … !!

-“No,” is more, they say.

“Yes,” is less.

-Well ! “No” is a LOT more because a SINGLE YES, I’ve never heard.

From me to you now here’s the truth: The hypocrites aren’t genuine, they’re actually irrelevant. The ones who smile at second one are the first to say they’re done — with you. So maybe it is a good thing that you didn’t pick me now. I’ll be the first to walk away from two-faced you, leaving your dishonesty. On the floor. Where you belong, Not above Me, because us, we are EQUAL. So respond, or recoil. “Yes” there’s a different side to me.

It’s the same: more “No” ‘s, nose blows and sadness waves, less being the hopeful one. Better you and worser me, it’s okay I’m being free.

The worst they can say is “No” – I’ve heard – …”No” it’s a good thing. I don’t know your life but I know mine. “No” can make you stronger and freer. It can liberate you, if used sparingly. Too many “No” ‘s in a row, though, really takes a toll on me.

-h

***sometimes it’s hard for me to describe things in a paragraph form. (ex/ “this happened and this is how it made me feel …”) complete sentences often don’t do a justice to the way an emotion actually feels for me, so i just kinda write things out like this in my own style. i don’t wanna say it’s “poetry” per say. it’s more like lyrics, because i read stuff that i write like this in a particular way when i read it in my head, with certain pauses and emphasis on different words. though this may not tell a story in a flat-out, verbatim way, it tells a very genuine story for me & i hope anyone who finds themself reading this can at least recognize and appreciate that. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

i am also hesitant to post a blog post like this, but hey, if i get so many “No” ‘s anyway, why not?