home home home

i go home in 16 hours.

it’s hard to describe how much I want to go home. my whole being is just longing to go home.

i miss Dusty so unbelievably much, if i think about him for too long i bring myself to the verge of sobbing. it sounds so dramatic but Dusty has always been one of my bestest friends and it’s very hard to be away from him.

For 44.3009% of my life, (which I calculated to the day), he has been My little guy. From the first instant I held him as a 7 week old puppy, I knew that he would forever be My dog. I’ll never forget the way his little legs would trip over blades of grass when we first brought him home because he was just too tiny for the big world. He’s been there with me through very rough times, ALWAYS licking my tears away when they come. Now he’s bigger, and his beautiful soul is just as radiant as the first day I held him.

I love him so deeply and I just can’t stop.

he may be “just a dog”, but he is My dog.

i CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM

on another, less dramatic note, i’m going to hangout with my friends and i’m SO EXCITED for it!!

and i’m going to get my nails done and see my house again!! and my pool again!! and my family. I’m just so excited and I just can’t wait.

see you soon baby -holz

my love makes me cry

i feel such a strong desire to care for another soul,

another being, and for that being to care for me as well.

it rips me apart that i can’t see my baby dusty everyday,

i can’t play with him and cuddle with him, or tell him how much i love him.

even though he may not understand my words, he certainly knows 

when i tilt my heart and emphasize my words clearly

I love you Dusty. I love you so so much.

He knows that I love him, despite his flaws.

When he lashes out at me, possessive over food, when he runs away from me as i call to him, i love him.

i care for his little soul so deeply and completely, he can’t comprehend it.

I would do anything for my little guy.

it shows me how Jesus loves me.

that i’m 6 hours away from him, and he doesn’t know,

he doesn’t know where i am or why i left him.

he’s home

i’m alone

i’m here, missing him much.

ouch!

~

me, as always, ಠ_ಥ

-holz (>人<)

~

a note: reading this actually brings me to tears. my love for my baby boy dusty is so deep. i have loved him, currently love him, and continue to love him through all seasons of our lives. my love for him supersedes any temporary grievances. he may appear to be “just a dog,” but to me, he is my cuddly little companion, my forever furry friend, and my little bundle of joy.

while i know that the love between a human and an animal falls beneath the love humans share for each other, i believe the love humans and animals have for each other is a great example of God’s love for His people. experiencing a deep love for another being in my own life really helps me to understand God’s perfect Love, which i tend to greatly underestimate. while my love for any being, including dusty, is flawed in my humanity, loving him has taught me what it means to TRULY love another being: freely, compassionately and oh-so whole-heartedly.

I love him SO- SO MUCH.

i lost track

WOW ~ mentally i keep putting so much pressure on myself to post on this blog that i just never do anymore. that makes me SAD.

SO, to prove to myself that all my posts on here don’t have to be long, eloquently worded and “perfect,” for today all I will say is:

~~~

I miss my friends back home, in my hometown, my home.

I miss local food, my pool, my bed.

I miss driving, I miss my publix.

I miss my baby boy, Dusty.

I miss home.

~~~

That’s all.

-holz